My Husband’s Hands

I work hard. . . I understand that, I work more hours than I want to admit, I think about my students more hours of the day then they will ever know.However my type of hard work is different than my husbands. . I get up every morning I go to a place where I do my work, I work for *normally a set amount of time and I am able to come home, where I am again *normally able to then focus on being a wife and a cat mother.

Yes yes I am a teacher so I spend more than the amount of weekends than I want planning my lessons, and more of my paycheck then I would want on school supplies and clothes and anything else I think my children need. I have adopted 23 wonderfully challenging children into my heart. . but this is different than what my husband does.

When people here what I do I get “oo you have such a special heart. . . I could never do what you do. . . oh the patience. ” I am told over and over that I am making a difference in people’s lives. When people here what Mr. does it is normally Ohh that is soo cool, I have no idea how to do that. But no one tells him that he is patient or special and no one thinks about how he is changing himself, our family or the lives of people in what he does.

 Mr. makes videos, commercials and corporate videos for retreats and Church’s and all sorts of videos that most people don’t see that are made for companies and bride’s and any one else that can afford them.

These videos are made for demanding clients who completely disregard something called a work week or that Mr. has a wife and a life outside of their :30 second video. They expect him to work until 1am on a Saturday and get up on Monday and do it all again.

And he does.

He listens to their complaints, changes, he does what they want even when creatively he completely disagrees. He works 5-7 days a week anywhere from 8 to 10 to 12 to 15 hours a day. Sometimes he eats dinner with me and heads back to work, sometimes he lays down and waits for me to fall asleep and sneaks away his computer to see what the client has decided now.

So who is more patient? Me who deals with adorable children, who yes have significant special needs and sometimes bite, hit, kick me or spit in their backpack for fun, or in my face. But they are still 8 years old and adorable and when they are done they turn to me and say, “I am sorry Ms. Kelsi.” and when I come back in the room they light up and say ” I am so glad you are back.” and they mean it they love me just as much as I love them.

Mr. he pours his whole heart into his work he finds something beautiful in every painfully corporate project, and when the client yells and changes something they approved for the 15th time he sighs and does it. He doesn’t get the hug and the I am sorry. His clients don’t love him, they are thankful for his return. So to me . .. he wins the patience award.

And even if his clients aren’t happy for his return even if they don’t see his dedication as the most diligent patient work they could get. . I do. I am inspired by his commitment his love and his beautiful work everyday. He makes videos come to life in a way I never could, and he sees something beautiful in every video even when it is painfully dull.

And he deals with adults. .. which come on we all know can be so much worse than children.

So just remember that I may have “such a special heart” so does everyone else, it just comes out a little differently.

❤ Kelsi Rae

Dear #DearWhiteBoyfriend

WARNING, this post has NOTHING to do with hair, What? I know, right? But here it is. 

So my boyfriend, yes my white boyfriend and I have an ongoing joke about the #DearWhiteBoyfriend, whenever he does something that could have been insensitive we use this # to let him know. Don’t get me wrong, he is not insensitive and we are doing this in a completely joking way , but there are people out there that actually use this # in a serious manner and that is more what I want to talk about here. So my boyfriend is honestly just unaware of how some of the things he says could be viewed as insensitive to his “WOC” girlfriend, this insensitivity happens very rarely and is never something that upsets me. So when I first discovered the buzz feed article completely dedicated the #dearwhiteboyfriend posts I was astonished. Mostly because these women think that they somehow have the right to use this kind of language, I understand that their boyfriends are one white and two don’t understand some of the WOC issues but that doesn’t give us the right to use their caucasionness against them. 

Race is not something that has come into my relationship, this time around. In the past I have had boyfriends, most of my boyfriends have been white, that were just blatently insensitive about things, and I often got comments like ” But what, you don’t love fried chicken and grape koolaid” or ” I am dating the most white black girl ever” Both of these things were hurtful and over time wore on those relationships, but if I would have turned around and created a social media outlet about these occurrences I would simply have been turning the racism back on them. Why do these women stay with these men and complain about them on twitter, but don’t take the time to educate them about why these things are hurtful to WOC. I try to assume positive intentions ( there is my teacher talk coming out again) and by assuming positive intentions I am going to assume that my boyfriend, did not mean to offend me. Clearly these women have chosen to date a white male and must understand that they have probably not grown up having to understand which of their statements appear racist. However they are now dating a WOC and clearly are making an attempt to bridge those race gaps, therefore I believe instead of banning together and hating on our white boyfriends online, why don’t we teach them what is hurtful and why, what is the background of some of these stereotypes and how they have evolved over the years. That way we aren’t becoming the very thing we are trying to get away from in our interracial relationships because then we couldn’t get mad when they turn around and create a #Dearblackgirlfriend 

Social Rant for the day, check! 

#DearWhiteboyfriend , #LoveyourWOC

❤ Kelsi Rae