This morning I woke up alone… Mr. had to work, and I laid in bed telling my cat Daryl how much I didn’t want to go on a run, I looked at the weather.. 34 degrees and snow at 11 am, I thought about all the house work I had to do, I need to write an IEP. . I told Daryl all of these things, I explained to him that I just should wait until Monday, that I had already missed my Thursday run why start now. . .
But for some reason I looked at Daryl one last time and got up and put on my running clothes. I have been doing the program Fitness22 in order to try and be able to run a 10k by this Spring sometime, I have to say having a little lady in my head telling me to “Keep going you are worth it.” Has helped me in some weird way.
And today as I ran. . snow started falling and it reminded me to be thankful for my legs that are able to carry me around, for my cat that is still curled up in bed and for the life I have made 2 blocks away from this park.
I had been running on and off for almost 8 months when I downloaded this app and essentially start all over at the Run 1:00 minute Walk 1:00 minute mark, I did this because I wasn’t making any progress just going out and running the same 2:00 mile stretch of park 2-3 times a week. I have run 2 5k’s since I started and today my run was 36 minutes consisting o 18 minutes of actual running. And I have to say it is getting easier.
I am able to see the beauty around me now as I run, as opposed to just feeling like death. I am able to appreciate the people who run passed me, instead of being jealous, I am able to run the full 8 minutes and still think about how far I have come, instead of wanting to rip my heart and lungs out.
So now I just keep reminding myself to keep going, and to get out of bed. . the beauty is outside, and Daryl and all of my work will still be there when I get home.
Yesterday Mr. said to me, you are a runner now. While I don’t know that this is true I have been running. We moved two blocks from one of the nicest parks in Denver, Wash Park and I was determined to become a Park Runner, not just a one or two day a week runner, no a 4 or 5 day a week runner. So today I completed my 5th run in the park. I did 4 last week and then today I did my 5th and first one of this week.
When I started running I could barely run three minutes on a treadmill and last Monday I completed both my longest and fastest run yet, I ran 2 miles in around 25 minutes. Ok a 12 minute mile may not seem like much but it was everything to me, and it still feels good, I don’t have goals to become a fast runner, just a runner someone who can sustain running for a prolonged period of time.
I am getting there, and I have found that running is a mental bargain, every half a mile or so when I start to feel like my lungs are giving out or my legs are going to collapse I look forward to the next tree, bend in the trail, stoplight or any marker I can make in my mind and tell myself, just keep going till you get there, and if I can make it there it is another bargain to keep going just a little farther.
I have found that as long as I keep bargaining I can keep going, and then when I do need to walk for just a little while, I can bargain my way into running just a little more. I am not rewarding myself with anything except more running, but that running is starting to feel good.
Hell I still feel like I am dying but it is a joy, I am happy that my body keeps going, that when I see someone else running on the “Runners highway” that is Wash Park I feel like I am part of their club.
So what can you bargain yourself into? What ways can you make your life better by simply saying, I can go a little farther… how can we find bargains in everyday life that will allow us to make the progress we need in order to be the best we can be.