Boy Bye, 2017!

Screen Shot 2017-12-20 at 8.28.20 AM

This year is quickly coming to a close, already it is like 2018 is literally knocking on our door so now it is the time when everyone starts to think what will the new year be like. What will I change? What resolutions will I make and then with any luck be able to keep past the third week of January? But this post is not about the future it is about the other thing we do at this time of year, we start to look back, reflect on what has happened in 2017, how are we different from the time we did this in 2016, what has shaped the way we see the world this year.

For me, this year was a year of major life change, we moved across the country, from the bustling, growing city of Denver to a TINY town in the mountains, when I say tiny I mean 300 year-round residents. So you work with the people that are your friends, your boss is married to your husbands boss (that is real life) and everything feels a little more connected. But it can also feel a little more isolated, and not just because the closest grocery store is an hour and a half away. No, it can feel a little isolating because even though in theory you should be surrounded by your 300 closest friends, sometimes you are not.

Now, I am not saying tiny towns don’t lend to the best friendships because I am finding that, that just might be the case. But I am in a town where everyone has pretty similar beliefs and similar upbringings so I often feel like I am putting on a contrived act of myself, not truly allowing all of me to show because it is a stark contrast to those around me, and not even realizing that I haven’t truly laughed in months. I believe many of the same things as those here, but definitely not all the same things, and I had an upbringing where those beliefs were not the only choice, I was free to find out what I believed in on my own. And I will be forever grateful for that.

So this year has been a lot of me finding myself and my footing what does it mean to be myself here, and who can I truly be myself with? It has been a lot of cringing at the news and praying for the state of our country. It has been a lot of tears over the gutting of education, health care, taxes, the lives of the dreamers, and so many other things I held dear.

This year has been full of weeks of longing to be anywhere but this small town, and then random moments of heartfelt gratitude for the place where we are and the people that surround us. It has been learning to dive into new friendships without reserve and finding the joy in old friends. It has been watching old friends go through new phases of life, some joyful like engagements and then some hard, like telling their parents they are in love with a woman when they are in fact also a woman.

And then the other night something happened that made me so grateful that we are in this place for another year, looking forward to 2018. The other night, a set of new friends invited us over for dinner with a group of people, it was like taking a deep breath after being underwater. I knew the minute she said #thefutureisfemale that I could relax a little more, I could shake off that contrived act and start to be myself. My soul that I hadn’t even realized was depleted began to be filled, in simple interactions it was revived and I thought if these friendships are what 2018 will be like, bring it on. Because in one night of soul filling I was able to reflect, love and realize what 2017 had been missing.

I hope that your 2017 has been filled with soul-filling, I hope that 2018 is filled with a renewed hope in America, in myself and in the people around me. I am ready, bring it on 2018 because in case you didn’t know #thefutureisfemale and that means the future is me, the future is now!

-Rae

Advertisements

The Business of Feminism

I normally don’t consider myself much of a feminist, at least the the 2015 version. I am all for the feminists of 1919 and past decades, and it is not that I don’t believe in women’s rights but if I am going to put my voice out there about something I normally stick with poverty or race politics. But you know today something really got to me, that made me stop and think. .

How does your simple presence as a man negate my entire interaction as a woman?

Today Mr. and I bought a couch off of an app called NextDoor it basically connects you to your neighbors and is a great connection to things going on in the neighborhood. (It is also a hilarious outlet to watch overly sensitive people rant,within your neighborhood) But in this case we bought a couch, it is a wonderful couch and I am pleased with the experience, but at the end as we walked away the guy selling it to us turned and shook Mr.’s hand and said, “Pleasure doing business with you, see you around the neighborhood.” Then smiled and nodded at me as they walked by.

Pleasure doing business with YOU! Just YOU!

Ok so lets break this down,

I set up the meeting time

, I provided the OK to buy the couch,

I handed over the money

And it was MY car that we drove to pick it up.

So really what business did you do with my husband?

So maybe you helped him carry the couch to our house, while I carried the cushions but does that really constitute business?

I noticed the same sort of interactions when we were buying my new car, one salesmen we met with, knew it was my car, knew it would be my name on the title, and yet he would talk to Mr. as if he were buying a car for his 16 year old daughter. Who wasn’t in the room!

I felt like waving my hands in his face. . . um over here, I am making the decisions here!

Ok maybe these are little things, maybe I should let them go and not get so worked up about them but really when I used to do business when I was single and did not bring a man with me they could see me, they shook my hand and said pleasure doing business with you, with little ole me.

But now it is like I am just the “little Missus” well this little Missus, balances our budget, has a full time career and is fully capable of doing business on my own, just so all the Mr.’s in the world know!

❤ Kelsi Rae

IMG_0445