Think Betty Draper via season 1, the domestic goddess that she was before shit really started hitting the fan.
Ok so these are all really funny and I love to poke fun at the domesticity that was instilled in the women of the past. But to be honest I love many of the aspects of the domestic goddess like Betty Draper with a few add ons
1) I love to cook dinner, but you better believe you are going to help clean up.
2) I will clean the kitchen. . you can clean the bathroom.
3) I will do the dishes. . .you can dry.
4) And you better believe that I am going to keep my full time job, and still work when we have children.
I love my job and I think a way to maintain is to be fulfilled with yourself in order to bring the best you to a relationship.
5) When those kids are born we will both be waking up at 3 am
6) And hopefully I will never have to start popping Valium like candy!
But this side of me falls under a lot of scrutiny in the modern age. How could I be content taking care of my husband, ensuring that he is fed, clean and has nice clothes to wear. Where is my feminist streak that screams, he is a grown man he can take care of himself?
Well damn right he can, and he has been taking care of himself for 7 years after he moved out of his parents before I came along. He is more than capable of taking care of all of these things on his own. (I do have to admit that his apartment is full of dishes, and it smells like a man cave most of the time, but he is surviving just fine without me) But what is a better way to show him that I love and value him than by doing these simple things that I have been doing for myself anyway.
And what right is it of anyone else to tell me that, this action is antiquated or anti-feminist?
But this is exactly what happened yesterday. A colleague of mine is in the process of getting a divorce, a younger man that we work with asked us both why we choose to get married as opposed to simply living together. And she went into a diatribe about how she got married because of societal norms and how marriage sucks the all of your personality as you try and conform to social norms.
While this may be true for her, to say that this is the case is all marriages places another stereotype on them. A marriage is a union between two people those two people have to know each other and value what they bring to the relationship, a marriage does not have to look like mine, or eerily similar to the women of the 50’s. A marriage has to look like two people working together to get through life. They are communicating and working as a team in order to succeed. That team can take on many different looks but each person has to feel valued in the team.
It is time to stop stating that I am anti-feminist because I happily sing while I cook and wash the dishes for my future husband. But it is also time for people to stop feeling like a marriage has to look any certain way. A marriage is as unique as the two people in it.
I have never been happier than I am when I can come home to make dinner before Ben gets home, my friend Shannon’s goal for next year is to get home in enough time to freshen up before her husband gets home, and my colleague that is getting a divorce needs to find a man that as she put it “lets her be the hippy that she is.”
In the end even Betty Draper started looking out for herself.
So remember don’t forget to be yourself and when in doubt, What would Betty Draper Do?
❤ Kelsi Rae