WARNING, this post has NOTHING to do with hair, What? I know, right? But here it is.
So my boyfriend, yes my white boyfriend and I have an ongoing joke about the #DearWhiteBoyfriend, whenever he does something that could have been insensitive we use this # to let him know. Don’t get me wrong, he is not insensitive and we are doing this in a completely joking way , but there are people out there that actually use this # in a serious manner and that is more what I want to talk about here. So my boyfriend is honestly just unaware of how some of the things he says could be viewed as insensitive to his “WOC” girlfriend, this insensitivity happens very rarely and is never something that upsets me. So when I first discovered the buzz feed article completely dedicated the #dearwhiteboyfriend posts I was astonished. Mostly because these women think that they somehow have the right to use this kind of language, I understand that their boyfriends are one white and two don’t understand some of the WOC issues but that doesn’t give us the right to use their caucasionness against them.
Race is not something that has come into my relationship, this time around. In the past I have had boyfriends, most of my boyfriends have been white, that were just blatently insensitive about things, and I often got comments like ” But what, you don’t love fried chicken and grape koolaid” or ” I am dating the most white black girl ever” Both of these things were hurtful and over time wore on those relationships, but if I would have turned around and created a social media outlet about these occurrences I would simply have been turning the racism back on them. Why do these women stay with these men and complain about them on twitter, but don’t take the time to educate them about why these things are hurtful to WOC. I try to assume positive intentions ( there is my teacher talk coming out again) and by assuming positive intentions I am going to assume that my boyfriend, did not mean to offend me. Clearly these women have chosen to date a white male and must understand that they have probably not grown up having to understand which of their statements appear racist. However they are now dating a WOC and clearly are making an attempt to bridge those race gaps, therefore I believe instead of banning together and hating on our white boyfriends online, why don’t we teach them what is hurtful and why, what is the background of some of these stereotypes and how they have evolved over the years. That way we aren’t becoming the very thing we are trying to get away from in our interracial relationships because then we couldn’t get mad when they turn around and create a #Dearblackgirlfriend
Social Rant for the day, check!
#DearWhiteboyfriend , #LoveyourWOC
❤ Kelsi Rae